Monday

there is a big wind in tucson today. i'm going to lay out by the pool! my legs are so dread white it's impossible to think about wearing shorts.

yesterday i made my famous casserole to take to work at the bar & it got rave reviews...of course! work was fine, i made it through though it's difficult for me right now slingin drinks & being around so many intoxicated people, esp men who say ridiculous things. i've always been able to be impervious to that sort of thing--unphased in a way--this is just a job that i do--but it's becoming harder to separate it out. it feels as if it's taking too much from me.

~

After a month of interior weeping
it occurred to me in times like these
I have nothing to fall back on
except the sun and moon and earth.
I dress in camouflage and crawl
around in swamps and forest, seeing
the bitch coyote five times but never
before she sees me. Her look
is curious, almost a smile.

The days are stacked against
what we think we are:
it is nearly impossible
to surprise ourselves.
I will never wake up
able to play the piano.

~

We are seeking genuine change, not denial. No one is the sole cause or to blame.

Real generosity toward the future consists in giving all to what is present. -Camus